Day 42-37 Sefirat HaBinyan/Building the Realm and Counting Up

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalom (Reb Zalman) wrote:

“People who have worked on their awareness have pointed out that there are 49 days from the end of Tish’ah b-Av / the fast of the 9th of Av, to the day before Rosh HaShannah.  In counting S’feerah between Pesach andShavu’ot, we make our way downward from Chesed ofChesed to Malchut of Malchut.  During the Elul  season, we make our way upward from Malchut of Malchut toChesed of Chesed.”  (A Guide for Starting Your New Incarnation, 2001, ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal, p. 1)

I will use this way of counting up through the days between Tisha b'Av and Rosh HaShannah to cleansing spirit and soul, using the sefirot as a spark for personal daily meditations to map out and reflect on the journey. Below are my kavanot or intentions for climbing up from 5773 to 5774.

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 42

A week of mourning the very roots of our existence and this week widening into the greater foundation. Tonight I am thinking about the fuel we need to nurture ourselves. What has happened to our intimate ties with the earth and what we feed our body? I try my best to grow living things in my container garden to eat, to buy foods local and fresh and yet here I am with a plate of hotdogs, potato chips, processed white hotdog buns and a beer. Mourning the steps backward I may take in this journey.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 42 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 6 weeks, Malchut Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 41

A poet once wrote “no man is an island entire of itself”. We have need of each other even if we don’t always realize it. People can be wonderful but then they can also be difficult and hurtful. Still the foundation of our foundation is the bonds we make to acquire friends and to cement relationships with our families. Unkind words spoken in anger or haste can destroy in minutes what took years to build. This evening I am mourning the lost bonds of friendship and connectedness.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 41 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 5 weeks and 6 days, Yesod Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 40

“Weeping may last throughout the night but joy comes in the morning”. This is a line in Psalm 30 and so has life imitated liturgy. Today a friend who read my lines of prose for Day 41 last night wrote to ask forgiveness for anything she said that might have caused me pain. My mourning was more general than that but I was uplifted and consoled to think about how closely my friend was listening to my words. Listening not just with her ears but with her heart. How splendid

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 40 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 5 weeks and 5 days, Hod Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 39

Whether it is living to work or working to live the concept of work is part of most of our eternal foundation. I have always tried to do work that makes me happy, that I want to get up for and that I am good at. I realize not everyone is able to do this. I mourn for anyone who must earn a living doing something they hate or that doesn’t inspire them. I mourn that they only wait for the minutes to count down so that their “real” life can begin.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 39 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 5 weeks and 4 days, Netzach Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 38

Today marked the last regular Shabbat I will have with two children who were once my students for tomorrow they move to New York. Two wonderful loving brothers they came to my Tot Shabbat service to pray and I was honored. Their parents were in another service when it was time to ask parents to bless their children and so I took the liberty of putting my hand on the eldest’s head. May each of us be consoled unexpectedly by small loving bonds such as these.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 38 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 5 weeks and 3 days, Tiferet Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 37

“God will bless the house of Israel, God will bless the house of Aharon” it says in Psalm 115. I sit comfortably in my condo writing, friends host me in their apartments and another friend just purchased a house. Everyone needs their own space, their own place to gather their strength, a foundation to rest, to eat and communally celebrate. This day is spent mourning for anyone without a home, big or small, to call their own.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM: I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 37 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is 5 weeks and 2 days, Gevurah Sheb’ Yesod.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will. May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

Day 49-43 Sefirat HaBinyan/Building the Realm and Counting Up

Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalom (Reb Zalman) wrote:

“People who have worked on their awareness have pointed out that there are 49 days from the end of Tish’ah b-Av / the fast of the 9th of Av, to the day before Rosh HaShannah.  In counting S’feerah between Pesach andShavu’ot, we make our way downward from Chesed ofChesed to Malchut of Malchut.  During the Elul  season, we make our way upward from Malchut of Malchut toChesed of Chesed.”  (A Guide for Starting Your New Incarnation, 2001, ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal, p. 1)

I will use this way of counting up through the days between Tisha b'Av and Rosh HaShannah to cleansing spirit and soul, using the sefirot as a spark for personal daily meditations to map out and reflect on the journey. Below are my kavanot or intentions for climbing up from 5773 to 5774.

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 49

I have spent the day of Tisha b’Av sitting in the roots of the tree, fasting, mourning the loss of the Temple, and that each of us holds in our own roots a piece of the baseless hatred the rabbis say caused the destruction. If I look up I know I will see the leaves in the top of the tree and celebrate but I won’t do it for the present. That time I know will come however this week will be spent mourning in the many ways one can mourn and this day I will look at the root of where all things begin.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 49 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  7 weeks, Malchut Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 48

Today marked the last shiva minyan for a friend whose father died. Unable to go I thought about my own father’s death. Mourning the loss of a parent, part of one’s foundation, is a unique thing. After my father died I saw myself as a member of a club; the dead parents club. I knew that unless you had experienced this pain you could not understand what had happened to me and the only ones I discussed it with were other “members”. Tonight I mourn anyone’s loss of such a relationship.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 48 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 6 days, Yesod Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 47

Tonight I mourn those murdered for race, for politics, for opportunity, and for no reason at all. I did not know these people but their passing touches me. It could be Trayvon Martin. It could be the 500,000 people in the Indonesian killings of 1965-66, the subject of a recent documentary “The Act of Killing”. In the film I was Sickened at the murderers eagerness to retell their crimes. I was Outraged by how they continue to thrive. I was Humbled by the film maker's journey to justice.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 47 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 5 days, Hod Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 46

The Jewish Shabbat is coming with the setting of the sun. On it one does not mourn but celebrate God’s holy day of rest. So before the candles are lit I will mourn the missed chances to become a parent, to become a wife. In every corner of my heart I grieve that “I love you mommy” and “I love you dearest” will never be mine, for eternity. The sadness will not consume me but it will be recognized, at least, for this second in time.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 46 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 4 days, Netzach Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 45

In the midst of mourning comes "Shabbos Nachamu," the Sabbath of Consolation. in the midst of the Haftorah reading God tells the prophets to "console, console My nation". It is a prophecy that Jerusalem will one day be rebuilt. I will not wait to begin consoling myself. Today’s sefira of Tiferet or compassion calls me to make an allowance. In the cycle of darkness to light this little "Nachamu" (console) is the first word of the portion and the first light.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 45 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 3 days, Tiferet Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 44

Not everyone realizes Moses did not get to go into the promised land of Israel. He disobeyed God and had to stand on the mountain only looking at the object of his desire, turning leadership over to Joshua. Tonight mourning the things we never get to complete because of our choices and lack of discipline. Who can say how this changes our life path.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 44 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 2 days, Gevurah Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

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BUILDING THE REALM-Day 43

Another day of consolation comes with the arrival of Tu b’Av, the 15^th of the Hebrew month of Av, a day of loving-kindness. In the Mishna Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel is alleged to say that on this day “…the daughters of Jerusalem go out dressed in white and dance in the vineyards. What they were saying: Young man, consider who you choose (to be your wife).” (Taanit 4:8). Today if “you can’t be with the one you love, then love the one you’re with.” For after all “love is all you need”.

RIBBONO SHEL OLAM:  

I hereby prepare myself for Sefirat HaBinyan / a counting for building God’s realm during the time between Tisha B’av and erev Rosh HaShannah.

Today there are 43 days left until erev Rosh HaShannah, which is  6 weeks and 1 days, Chesed Sheb’Malchut.

Dear God: Please let me be a vessel for Your light and help to align me with Your will.  May this period of Sefirat HaBinyan and the New Year be for good, for peace and for blessing for all of Israel, for all inhabitants of the earth and let us say Amen.

(Day kavanah by Menuhah Peters/prayer by Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi & Gabbi Seth Fishman)

Eating Vegan for the Nine Days...it is all done now why?

Tisha b’Av is over and so is my nine days cleansing diet. I survived without much problem and it has given me lots to think about both in the short and long term. Some people do fruit fasts and some do colonics but I wanted to shake up and wake myself up to how I nurture this temple, this body and see if there is a better way. The vegan part of the diet was not new, I followed it last year so my system had little to adjust to for day to day meals. I planned better this year eating up the animal products in my fridge before the nine days started. It felt a bit like preparing for Pesach in this way of using up forbidden food. I gave up any food item that came from an animal and/or animal products were used in making it. No meat, chicken, fish, dairy, eggs, milk, cheese, honey, and white & brown sugar (cow bones are used to refine it, yes really!). This diet goes further than the Jewish tradition of giving up meat and wine for the nine days. I also decided to simplify. Instead of replacing my dairy latte during the nine days with a soy latte I would switch to tea. Then realizing a yogi diet wouldn’t allow for stimulants like coffee and tea I just switched to herbal tea.

 

My vegan/yoga breakfast of oatmeal, soy milk, apples, nuts and herbal tea.

Which brings me to the totally new Bhakti Yoga piece of my cleanse. Staying for a week at an ashram in the Bahamas in June I was exposed to and fed really good food, mostly vegan meals without garlic, onions, mushrooms and light spices. The chef told me the food is supposed to be good for the daily meditation, devotional prayer and yoga sessions. I started reading lots of different articles to find out more of the "why" of the yoga diet. My limited knowledge of one kind of a yoga diet is the belief that you are what you eat and the energies of life including food energy can provide clarity or dullness. The kind of food, the manner in which it is cooked and the way it is consumed all contribute to helping reach enlightenment or darkness. I read a lot of information but in just nine days it would be impossible to have become an expert. but I did learn that according to Ayurveda, the Vedic science of medicine, all food is seen to have a influence on mental and physical health and is classified into three groups. 

My vegan/yoga lunch of rice, avocado slices, nuts, lentils, watermelon and grapes.

Sattvic food (promotes clarity and serenity of mind and helps for spiritual growth) is lightly cooked with minimal spices and includes most fruits, nuts, seeds, vegetables, whole grains, honey, pure water and milk. Rajasic food (feeds the body, but promotes restlessness in the mind) is most spicy foods, stimulants like coffee and tea, eggs, garlic, onion, meat, fish and chocolate, most processed food and eating too fast. Tamasic food (induces heaviness of the body and dullness of the mind) is alcohol, meat, stale or overripe food, processed, canned or frozen food as well as overeating. All food is seen as made by God and worthy of eating but Sattvic food and the manner in which Sattvic food should be made is seen as what will better assist you to devotion and enlightenment. I gave up onions, garlic, mushrooms, stimulants (coffee, tea, chocolate, chicory), liquor, fermented foods, vinegars, most processed, highly spiced, fast and canned foods,  and microwaving. As noted above most of these items fall into the categories of foods that don’t promote clarity. Canned foods, frozen foods and left overs are seen as having their energy changed and no longer alive. Microwaving is seen as a method of cooking which doesn’t cook everything and so again the spirit of the food is out of order.

My vegan/yoga dinner of corn, roll, cucumber, peppers, lentils, blueberries and watermelon.

Changing one’s diet for a short amount of time is a double edged sword. In one way it narrows the foods you have to think about. In another way you spend more time figuring out what to eat and planning meals that are nutritious and pleasing. I learned I can live without a lot of the foods I regularly eat. I didn’t have any short term issues with the food items I ate for my meals. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss foods but I was able to do without. Maybe that is because I eat a lot of fruits and veggies anyway. What is amazing to me is how easy it is for me to give up all these foods. I won’t do it to lose weight but I will do it for spiritual reasons. What is with that? I mean I adore lattes, ice cream and anything made with eggs. I love sitting on the fire escape with a margarita and chips and salsa. There is nothing I like better than some kosher bar-b-que chicken with the sauce all sloppy on your lips. I like to eat out and I like to eat and drink with friends. All gone. For the moment. What have I got instead? Thoughtful planning of meals. Quiet eating of meals. A tummy that hasn’t felt overwhelmed except for one bout of eating a whole can of cashews. Could I stay on this path? I don't know about but I am going to eat less dairy and less meat. I also will try and eat less processed food. l am using up the white sugar on my shelf and won't buy any more. Small steps. 

Once More Eating Vegan for the Nine Days (and more)

Last year for the nine days leading up to Tisha b'Av I decided to go on a strictly vegan diet. Tisha b'Av,  the ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av,  is a day of mourning that commemorates the destruction of the first and second Temples and other calamities in Jewish history. Tisha b'Av is one of the fast days in the Jewish calendar and the nine days that precede it are days of mourning and preparation. There are restrictions about activities of pleasure, laundering your clothes, and it is traditional to not eat meat nor drink wine. It seemed to me that a strictly vegan diet would be a physical act that would be as if I was cleansing the temple. The physical ritual would lead me in a mental state of cleansing too. One of the things I learned in the process what how much my diet depended on dairy. Only my early morning meal did not have any dairy not counting the skim latte I was either buying on the way to work or at work was really part of breakfast.

 Eating up all of the onions, garlic, eggs, white sugar and milk before the start of the nine days.

This year in June I spent a week at an ashram where they practice bhakti yoga or yoga of devotion. Bhakti is a Sanskrit word whose root "bhaj" means "to adore or worship God". The meals served at the ashram followed yoga diet principles both in when they were served, how they were served and what was served. There were only two meals, the first at 10am after morning yoga and the second at 6pm after late afternoon yoga. The  food was served in a meditative setting. You could eat alone or with others from the ashram surrounded by beach, water and jungle plants. I missed my morning latte and did go to a nearby Starbucks several times that week for one but I did not miss meat or chicken. The typical yoga diet is lacto-vegetarian but I never saw eggs or cheese and milk only in the morning meal to go with cereal. More surprising I didn't miss the absence of garlic, onions and mushrooms the base of my evening meals. At the end of the week and I decided  to try and combine the vegan and yoga diet for my nine day cleanse this year. 

One of many of my meals at the ashram sitting at a picnic table in the back area watching the waves.

I will need to eliminate some additional foods from what the list of things I normally eat that would be allowed on a vegan diet. The harder part will be to make sure I am not rushing my meals and to eat in as beautiful and restful a setting as possible. If I was going to be on vacation it would be simpler but most of the nine days will be regular work days. Meanwhile today is Thursday and the nine days starts  Sunday evening so that means I have four days to fry the onions and garlic, drink the milk and cook the eggs. Next step is to think about the slowing down and meal places. I can't produce an ocean but I am creative. Last year I needed to really focus on the foods but I have more of a comfort level in that regard now. Instead of the "what" it will be the "where and the "when" that I focus on. Let's see what I learn this time. I learn.