DLTI-required reading and preparation

In less than two weeks I will be at the first week retreat of DLTI-6, Aleph's Davenning Leaders Training Institute the program with Rabbis Marcia and Shawn. I am excited about going for many reasons but two that come to mind are the learning possibilities as well as meeting some new spiritual companions. I thought I would write at least one post before I actually go to the retreat, something while at the retreat (if I have time) and then something afterwards when I have had a chance for the experience to soak and settle in. So much now is in my "head" as I imagine what MIGHT be all the while brushing thoughts out of my head as if I was meditating. I tell myself to simply let what comes come without over complicated expectations.

It is clear how the Aleph leadership views DLTI and what their goal is. It says in the acceptance letter sent to me by Rabbi Zevit "DLTI is an intense, creative, individually transformative and community-building process. The long days and combination of self-study and experiential learning makes physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual demands on all participants while providing exposure to the deep structure of prayers, nusach, Torah leyning, conscious use of self, your own spiritual development and group dynamics. Our goal is to create prayerful community out of which our prayers arise – a dynamic model we hope you will bring back to your own community in whatever current or future leadership role you may have."

These words sounded good to me the first time I read them and they still sound good to me but what is my goal and how did I get here? Well I have found I like being surrounded by others interested in Jewish learning, leadership, spirituality and who make this a priority in their lives. Through years of discovery, trial and error, acceptance and rejection I have found what works for me in spiritual path, observance and practice. The French have an expression I love, "bien dans sa peau", literally translated as being "good in your skin" but which means you are comfortable with yourself. It is exactly how I feel; comfortable, solidly connected and yet open. I am connected to teachers and students some of whom I know personally and some that I only know in the pages of a book, in the words of a prayer, a chant or a teaching. By being open to the paths and practices of others I can refine what I already have and perhaps even add something new.

This will be the second group sponsored by Aleph that I have become a part of. For the last two years I participated in Kol Zimra 3 (KZ3), professional development for rabbis, cantors, lay Leaders and others led by Rabbi Shefa Gold and her husband Rachmiel that stresses the use of Jewish chant for worship, healing and community building. Rabbi Shefa says on her site that "The chant can attune us to ever-deepening levels of meaning, unlock the treasures of the heart, and give us an opportunity to generously serve each other." The program is one with a lot of heart and I was happy to see how to weave it into my davening. I came away with many chants, several friends, a new community and a love for the land of New Mexico where our retreats were held.

We stayed in a modest dwelling in Albuquerque near the Rio Grande and my bedroom window faced east towards the Sandia mountains. The word "sandia" means "watermelon" and at times the sun's rays would turn the mountain sides into the pink hue of this fruit. One of my favorite times to daven is at sunrise and I say this even though I am not by nature a morning person. Each day I would rise early, shower, make a cup of green tea and slice up an apple. I would take my food, siddur, tallit and tefillin out on the patio and watch the sun come up and color creep into the day. The added bonus was the multi colored hot air balloons that would go up in the sky along with the words of my prayers. Such a beautiful mixing of God's creations as well as the creations of people. As each retreat passed I had been wondering how I might continue my journey after KZ3 ended. DLTI was suggested to me by some of my new Jewish chanting friends who had attended in previous years. It seemed right and when my KZ3 room mate told me she was going and we could room together it just sealed the deal.

So much for the "how did I get here" part which literally could go on and on with so many stories. As I write this part of the blog post I sit in Borders book store with a medium skim latte, my Schottenstein Weekday siddur and three of the books from the DLTI required reading list beside my computer. I have to confess that it is the books that have gotten me excited to post. When accepted into Kol Zimra, Rabbi Shefa Gold suggested a reading list of which I only owned one title, "Jewish Spiritual Practices" by Yitzhak Buxbaum. I quickly purchased every book and added a new section to my Jewish library. That is not to say that every word of every book was a pearl (nor even to say that I have finished reading all of the books!) but I discovered wonderful books with with learnings on healing with sound that I had never been exposed to .

Now I find with DLTI there is once more a reading list, some required and some merely suggested. Interesting to note that so far there is no overlap from the KZ3 list however I already owned three of the required reading titles on the DLTI book list; "The Path of Blessing" by Rabbi Marcia Prager,

“My People’s Prayer Book-P’sukei D’Zimrah” by Lawrence Hoffman, and

“My People’s Prayer Book-The Sh’ma and its Blessings” by Lawrence Hoffman.

I had bought and read "The Path of Blessing" ten years ago and am curious to see how the re-reading of it goes. The other two I got as liturgy reference books. I immediately went and purchased several more of the "My People's Prayer Book" series, "The Art of Public Prayer" by Lawrence A. Hoffman, and "Making Prayer Real" by Rabbi Mike Comins.

At this point I have read more than 100 pages of "The Art of Public Prayer" and am finding his comments on signs versus symbols and worship systems fresh and interesting and overall the book is an easy read. "Making Prayer Real" is a series of essays and I am finding the candid attitude and open style of the various writers very accessible as well. What with all the book purchases I am definitely going to see what I might be able to get rid of to make room on my shelves. "The Path of Blessing" I have only begun to re-read, barely 30 pages done. I think it is the most mystical book so far with a language that borders on song or prose. I almost see Reb Marcia dancing or painting as I read the words. I wonder if it is the subject that makes for the difference or the attitude of the writers. I will compare what I read with the others and see what we come up with. In any case if I am excited about what I am reading that is good. Nothing worse than to have to struggle through page after page of a book you just can't find interesting.

The last part of the preparation is to work together with others to create a service. In order to increase our leadership and service skills everyone has to work together with other students and lead services for the rest of the group. There will be no solo led services which means you have to learn to work with others paring down what your prayer essentials are and attempt to make something harmonious. When I read we were going to have to do this I thought of it rather as a notice that if we didn't enlist in the "service" we would be "drafted" and much like the real thing we might not have much say about what we did. So I suggested to my room mate that rather than wait we just sign up immediately for the very first service open to student leadership which was the shacharit service of the morning after we arrived. Nothing like jumping in head first! We not only got what we wanted but received another student to work with.

That then is where I am, in the midst of text, in the midst of word and in the midst of service. I can't wait to see where it all leads.